Culture shock, and the inability to cope, is one of the primary reasons that 50% or more of full-time missionaries do not complete their first term or leave right after their first term is up. We've been here just over a month and have been loving the honeymoon stage of culture shock. Everything is new and exciting and fresh. However, we've started to feel the tension over the past week and a half that this portion is ending and an unsettling and chaotic period is beginning.
On a surface level it is largely simple things that aren't very significant, but if you dwell upon them they can bite you. I miss Reese's peanut butter cups, they don't have peanut butter in Brazil. Dulce de leite is AWESOME, but it's not peanut butter. I miss flushing toilet paper, throwing it in the trash can lacks a certain appeal that I'm sure you're cringing at the thought of right now! I miss Salvation Army half priced Wednesdays ~ "can't just some of you selfish Brazilians get rid of your nearly brand new clothes that you never wear because you have tons of others so that I can buy them for 50 cents?"
All of the above, and many others unlisted, are very simple things that we can laugh at and move past with a chuckle. Others have started wearing on us and they are what we really need prayer for. In a context where it can take four to five hours just to walk to a store, negotiate a price for a pair of sandals, and walk home can leave you feeling extremely useless and lazy at the end of the day. We say, "what did we do today besides go shopping, do some laundry, and cook two meals?" Then we realize nothing, because all of that took 10 times longer than it did in the states. We're picking up language and getting some of the culture and figuring new things out while we're doing all of this, but it feels extremely unfulfilling.
Couple this with the fact that even when you succeed in such a venture, you're still left feeling like a moron. You can't express the simplest of your feelings or ideas about life. You can get "things" that you want by pointing, grunting, and scratching your armpit like a caveman, but it's not due to the intricacies of your learned communication styles, but the grace and mercy of your hosts. However, none of that lends to the building of deep relationships and the formation of a community that you can lean and rely on in the midst of challenges.
On top of not being understood, is the inability to truly understand. Without knowing the language let alone the non-verbal signs and cues that are being communicated, it leads to a lot of ambiguity. For me, as a people pleaser, this leaves me very unsettled in wondering about expectations. What are they? What do these people whom I'm working with expect out of me. I don't know, so I'm left to my imagination, which is a dangerous thing.
These are the aspects of this season that we most need prayer for! In reality, we are feeling these tensions, but we're also learning a ton and experiencing the presence of God in the midst of them. One of the other aspects of culture shock that was emphasized in our training is that it creates an atmosphere that is conducive to spiritual renewal. Whenever I am confronted with the ambiguity of expectations, I have to lean back on the reality of my identity, a beloved child of the King. What are HIS expectations for me? What is HIS view of me? That is the audience of One that I have been called to live my life before. If I do that well, then I'm in the best possible position to be a blessing to those I'm sent to, regardless of whether they have expectations, whether I understand them, and whether or not they are or aren't realistic ones.
One final thing that we find encouraging as we head into this is that we have not experienced any major aspects of culture shock in terms of hostility towards the Brazilian people. This is a common aspect of the struggle, but we have found the Brazilian people very easy to appreciate and love, and we think that this is vital to our work here. Even our one small complaint; that whenever Caleb throws a temper tantrum in the home of one of our Brazilian friends, he comes home with five more new toys; is understandable to us. We don't appreciate him being rewarded for his behavior, but we recognize that Brazilian culture places a deep value on harmony in relationships. As our relationships deepen, we will in time express our feelings and values in terms of not rewarding this kind of behavior. But for now while we remain in this ambiguous position, we believe it is best to respect the culture and learn from it as we are able.
I will be praying for you guys! I know a taste of what you are experiencing. It seems that when you are away from everyone that is familiar to you God can challenge the familiar and refine you so that your lives are more reflective of Him and His Word. I just encourage you to use this time of isolation to transform you according to the Word of God. Let your mind be continually renewed and keep your sites on the fact that your residence is in heaven; you are sojourners in this fallen temporal world for His Glory!
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