When I get back to . . .

Over the last couple of months, we've noticed something very evident in the life of our daughter. If her life was a song, the chorus would begin with these words "when I get back to . . . ".



Due to her health struggles, she's had to learn some difficult restraint for a 4 year old. One of the first Portuguese phrases she learned was "não posso ter proteinas" - I can't have proteins. We've watched time after time as her friends in Vila Pantanal have shoved cookies, cake, or cheetos in her face only to see her stand confident and recite her phrase. It breaks our heart, well mostly mine... Shannon has a stronger confidence that not eating crap food is a good thing for her, while I view it as a devastating tragedy. But enough of my issues.

One of the constant conversations around the dinner table has begun like this . . . "Daddy, when I get back to eggs, I'm going to be so happy!" or "Daddy, when I get back to cheeseburgers, I'm going to eat six at one time!" She never says this complaining or frustrated, but with a simple tone of hope and expectation rising out of a place of contentment. She's handled it much better than I ever could have. The tone changes slightly on tougher days when a different verse is sung that goes more like this . . . "Daddy, when I get back to the United States, I'm going to play dress up with Hannah because I miss her so much!"

Out of these simple conclusions, I've come to the conclusion that my daughter is one of the world's most brilliant theologians. Ok, I'm good at overstating things, but at least I'm confident that she's on the way. The longing and desire for things to be as they should be, even as she rests content in the midst of this challenge, is an example that I'm trying to learn to follow.

I know that life is not what it's supposed to be, I know that this world, all of us as a people, were created for more than what I see daily on the streets. Too often in my life, I've let this fact draw me into frustration and lead me towards a life of complaining, moping, pouting, and the occasional temper tantrum.

The first time I was struck with the reality that this world was not what it was meant to be was my first trip to Haiti. Driving through the streets as the stench of sewage washed into the streets and the sight of blocks of landfills full of people picking through the trash slammed my senses, I caught the gaze of a lady staring back into my eyes. I noticed her humanity, she wasn't just an object on the side of the road, but had flesh, feelings, and thoughts like I did, she was made in the image of God. Up until that point, I assumed that this dump of a life was all people like her had ever known. So, not knowing anything better, they probably were content in this life because they knew no better. But when I locked eyes with this lady, I knew, she knew, she was meant for more. They all were. We all are. Even the comfort and luxuries of life in the States come with aches, pains, frustrations and brokenness.

My deepest hope and desire is to see the Kingdom of God in all of its fullness. Lion laying with lamb, peace in fullness on a recreated Earth, with Jesus leading and guiding all the world in His physical presence. But now, I wrestle in the tension. I don't live in hopelessness, because I believe His Kingdom is already here, inbreaking, coming forth. But I know there's more to be had. I long for all humanity to experience the moment WHEN WE GET BACK TO . . . what it was all meant to be in the first place.

When Naomi speaks of what she wants to get back to, it sends me off into a daze, thinking about the things that I long for in the same way. Sometimes it is just very simple things. To sit and sip a freezing cold beer in a world free of alcoholism, addiction, and abuse. To enjoy the fruit of creation in this form without concern that I'll cause trouble for someone else and send them spiraling into a pattern of life that wrecks and wastes theirs and the lives of those they love. Jesus said at the last supper that He wouldn't taste wine again until He drank it anew with those He loved at the consummation of His eternal Kingdom. I know there's going to be some shock for some there who have embraced certain valid callings in this life. But I can't wait to hear the roar of laughter at the freedom we'll experience as we begin to tip back the greatest wine we've ever tasted!

Other times, it's very situational. When I get back to being understood. Most of this has been brought to mind by the simple fact of language acquisition. However, there's a deeper longing there that I've learned all about through my very cross-cultural marriage to my hygienically questionable neo-hippie! We've always had a great marriage, are madly in love, and yet have forever spoken two different dialects of the same language. Communication has always been our weak point, even though we've gotten a lot better. We can almost communicate with each other as well as we communicate with the Brazilians here, almost. But there is this longing, to be understood. Scripture talks of a time when we will fully know as we are fully known. Often we emphasize the excitement of being able to fully know, especially us Americans, we value information. It's legit, to grasp, understand, and appreciate, every scar, every pain, every moment of frustration . . . to see it redeemed, painted, and infiltrated with meaning and significance. It is legit. At the same time, for me, there's just this deeper desire to grasp what it would be like to be fully known . . . fully understood, fully accepted, fully appreciated (and to receive that without doubts or confusion).



However, too much of the time lately, it's serious emotional things. As my beautiful brown-eyed whacko starts to speak of "when I get back to" my heart pounds out the deep emotional yearnings of "when I get back to" watching you, my beloved little daughter, run and dance and play. When I get back to hearing you sing, listening to your jokes, watching you climb the monkey bars without this nagging incessant inspection for the slightest little slur in your speech, the simplest little falter in your step, the smallest hesitation in your thought and the constant wonder if something dreadful is going to happen. When I get back to trusting that you're going to be just fine. When I get back to a world without illness, pain, or suffering.

In truth, she's been great since we've gotten here. It's been three months since any issue (other than the emergency room visit after she fell and slammed her head). Even as I write this, and even as I ponder, I feel the presence of the One who has suffered through my moral seizures and paralysis. Who's watched over me as I've stumbled and fallen and bled. When I think of this I can't help but feel hope arise and faith grow and hold on with anticipation for the great moment to come of "when I get back to".

Naomi's Skill

Well, we took our first "vacation" in Brazil. Traveling anywhere with two little munchkins with planes, trains, buses, taxis, etc. isn't the most relaxing thing, but we had a great time none-the-less. Both Shannon and my passports are expiring the beginning of next year, and we thought it would be good to get them renewed with plenty of time left. So we headed out Monday afternoon for São Paulo. We were in awe of the city, never seen such an enormous city in our lives!!! Some estimates at over 20 million people!

We went to the Consulate on Tuesday morning, and were pleasantly surprised that it only took us about an hour to get everything taken care of. We had done some searching the night before for things to do. Shannon talked me in to not being cheap, so we sprung the US$15 for the four of us to go to the São Paulo zoo. It was amazing, there were over 3000 animals. The kids had a blast and we spent about four hours there.

Of course, it's always an adventure. Caleb was getting exhausted and wanted to be carried everywhere, but wouldn't fall asleep. So we were carrying him for a while and then putting him down to walk. (Important to note, Caleb does not know how to walk, we've never observed that phenomenon, he runs EVERYWHERE)! Well, sure enough, at one point we had put him down and were looking for an entrance to this kid's place. We got sidetracked and Shannon, Naomi, and I looked at this other exhibit. We seriously hadn't turned our head for more than 10 seconds, turned around and Caleb was gone. Shannon went running one direction, I took off in the other with Naomi, our hearts were just about stopped. Shannon found him around the corner a good 1000 feet or so away, behind a fence, just standing. She was tearing up and all he says is "I didn't find the way in yet mom".

This was towards the end of the day and we were all exhausted, and pretty angry at that point too. At the same time we were relieved, so we sat down on a bench to take a break. Caleb was finally starting to fall asleep sitting on Shannon. Naomi was mentioning every three seconds what animals we still had left to see. As we were sitting there, we heard a bird shaking a bunch of leaves above our heads. Shannon asked me what it was, and I replied "at this point, I'm not going to bother looking, it's probably a pigeon and there's a great chance it's about to crap on us." Naomi rolled her eyes at me and said, "don't worry Dad, I'll find the bird and figure out what it is". She got up and walked back into some bushes and was looking all around this tree while we sat there trying to gather up some energy. All of the sudden Naomi shouted "daddy, come look, it's one of those cool birds from your book" I walked over, still expecting a pigeon, and saw this:



How AWESOME! My daughter totally spotted a Red-breasted (or Green-billed) Toucan. It was sitting on a branch at a height of about 7 feet, right above us. We stared at it, and were amazed. It stayed just long enough for me to pull the camera out, and then it took off out of the park and into some more forest (the zoo is actually located in the middle of a massive forest area that is preserved inside of the city). I found this picture on the web.

I had to take the time to celebrate my daughter and her amazing birding skills. It's something that the kids and I have loved to do together. They like to find me birds, make up names for them, and then run screaming and roaring at the birds as they chase them away. Shannon's probably going to get some pictures up later on Facebook about how that doesn't always work out great, especially in the case of ducks and geese, a whole other story!

Things I Love About My Life - Take 2

I love that Naomi and Caleb are starting to understand more Portuguese and have started responding to simple questions in Portuguese... it's so fun! And when they're playing, sometimes they make up words and pretend that they're speaking in Portuguese. I love that my kids will someday be bilingual (or maybe trilingual)!
I love that Caleb wants to pray for all of our meals... he reminds us when we forget, and then takes it on as his duty to pray for all of us.
I love that we have made friends with cool Brazilian people like Jonas & Amanda and get to hang out with them often. They're 19 and 16 respectively, but they are our closest friends here. We definitely feel like we connect with them, even with the language barrier. Jonas is the worship leader at the church that we attend and Amanda has just recently fallen in love with Jesus!
I love the spontaneity of this culture... i.e. yesterday morning, the bishop over the entire Methodist church in Brazil (and a friend of ours) calls us on Skype and asks Steve if he would give a devotional at a meeting with the District Superintendants about 3 hours later... such fun! And, mad props to my hubby, who wowed them with his fabulous Portuguese :)
I love that I can walk out of my house and find new places that I have yet to discover. While I was out yesterday, I ran into a friend of mine, which is a big deal since we know about 30 people in a city of 2&1/2 million.
I love that also, while I was out for my walk, I walked past an adorable little girl, playing out at the front of her house and when her mom came out, they both waved at me and smiled and said good morning. Living in the city is very different from what we're used to and people don't always talk to you... they're a bit more reserved, and cautious. So anyways, it's always a plus when I run into a friendly person who smiles and talks to me.
I love that we have made relationships with people in day-to-day life. Steve stopped by the Panificadora (bakery) around the corner where we buy our bread every day or two, when he was returning to the hospital with some food for us the other night and shared with the people what was happening with Naomi. The next day, on his way to the market, the shop owner came running out and asked him how Naomi was. People who would just be strangers or shopworkers at home are genuine opportunities for relationship and sharing in this culture.
I love that, even though we are many miles away from most of our friends and family, we have the opportunity to still be in contact through Skype, and the internet. I love that we can maintain our relationships with so many that we love and miss like crazy!
And lastly... I love my family! I love that God has blessed me with such an amazing husband and that we get to walk this journey of life together. I love that He has given us the opportunity to raise these two precious kids and to point them to Jesus and to teach them of His love for them.
Thanks for letting me share more about how fabulous my life is!